Of Gypsies and Cowboys

Want to know what it's like to start over?
1. Really tough.
2. Tougher than that.
3. Difficult to explain.
4. Confusing to defend.
5. Still worth it.

I read a quote the other day (and I'm sorry, the source eludes me now) but it stated (pretty much), "Is it hard? Of course it's hard! If it wasn't really tough than anyone could do it and it wouldn't be special!" I've reminded myself of these words time and again this week because yes, it's hard. Need I remind you of what we're attempting? We're a young family. J' was laid off, we have a 9 month old son, we packed up and moved west, we're camping in my in-laws driveway, we're attempting to start our own home-based business. No one made us do this, no one is keeping us here, few really understand why we would try something so...foolish.
Last night, while cozied up in the trailer and munching on toast while sipping home-vinted wine, we really questioned ourselves. We really let it enter our heads that this might not work. We considered some options. But, toast eaten and wine mug emptied we embraced, refocused, and moved ahead with the belief that we had better see this thing through before we seriously consider packing it in. Neither one of us wants to look back one yaer, one decade, one life from now and think, "If only we had pushed a little bit harder, if only we had tried a little bit more."

So we're working and living and plowing. Ha, you've gotta plow before you plant right? It's funny, religious reflections often focus on planting as the first step, but if you're going to get the greatest harvest you need to prep' the soil, right? Our plowing these days entails creating brochures, making phone calls, creating business cards, researching, having awkward converations with strangers, having exciting conversations with new friends, walking in the rain, getting lost on the freeway, crying, laughing, fighting it out, sleeping one tin sheet from the rain, reminding ourselves that it's worth it.
We're plowing and it's slow going, but we keep looking to the harvest horizon, a time of plenty, a season of thanksgiving, a life of truth, simplicity, safety, and joy.