Of Gypsies and Cowboys

Our furnace ran out of propane last night."
Jem confirmed that he was as cold as me when he started bellowing before 6:00am.

Up. Shivering. Pull kiddo out of the tub. Stumble into the 'kitchen' to hear the furnace running hard...blowing cold air! Hahaha...hello monday morning! :)
And life rolls on....

Months ago we decided to act on some of our convictions and reflections regarding 'a simpler life'. Hm. Months ago already. Wow. Within these months we have sold our possessions, created a company (kinda/almost...well, all the logistics of a company), left the only home we've known as a family, moved into a new home and area, become people we hardly recognize.

Somewhere along the way, our one path became two, than more, than too many. Our whole goal in this challenging journey is to embrace "a life less loaded". As a family, we desire days of purpose, materials of true value, clear minds, right hearts, working hands, happy children, healthy bodies, peace.
Unfortunately, I have found the past several weeks to be leaning more towards the "loaded" and not so much the "less". I am so tired. My mind is divided. My ideals and optimism are perilously close to falling into a cynical sneer. Somewhere, somehow, we have veered from the joy of a simple life and freedom into a pursuit of 'bigger' ideas, more accomplishments, and 'greater' goals.
I am daily impatient with my husband. My appearance is unkept at best (and sometimes bordering on slovenly!). I have ceased to write, exercise, meditate, or rest. I am consumed, even in my sleeping hours, with business products, marketing slogans, interactions, and plans. I have lost touch with valued friends.
From month one to month three, much has happened.

And so....
(insert total shift in attitude and tone! ;) )
This is where we take stock, cut our losses (well, some of 'em), take a breath and a prayer, and move on. I think. We're doing all of this stuff for a reason. We didn't give away our old life so that we could be exhausted and cranky and dirty. We stepped away from something that did not hold true value so that we could embrace a richer and deeper life. If we are to remain true to our goal then we (or better stated, 'I') need to be willing to get over the humiliation of a step (or 10) back and say that we're shifting our focus.
What does this all mean? It means we need to relax. It means we're reminding ourselves that it's better to stay small but happy instead of striving for 'big=successful' and losing family and peace in the midst of it. And, it likely means we're stepping more into GreenValley (the coffee roasting) and stepping away from the services of GreenHomes (eco-cleaning houses). Practically speaking, it may mean a longer stint in the RV, more waiting until we receive a true income, and more of less for a longer period (if that makes sense...).
On the flip side though, actually moving to this decision and deciding to make a go of something we actually enjoy stirs some serious excitement. I'll be honest with you; I'm no house cleaner! I still love my products and I'll still be pitching them at farmers markets and such and see where that goes, but the the thought of spending my days scrubbing other houses has been draining me. Coffee on the other hand, well, that's kind of who we are. We KNOW coffee. We can do good coffee. For us, roasting has become part of life. For those who have seen my home, well, cleaning hasn't really been a part of life, I'm no natural there ;) To survive as entrepreneurs you need to work to your strengths, right? I guess I'm learning this the hard way.
The funny thing is that I think it would actually be a successful company. I mean, we've got everything; the webdomain, materials, marketing, etc. All we need are employees and clients and away you go. Hm, anyone wanna buy a great cleaning company? ;)

Oh man, Jem is flipping out. Good bye. and good luck to me!