Of Gypsies and Cowboys

Has it been this long already? Wow.

We are in pursuit of a life less-loaded. What does that even mean? One year ago it was a niggling thought in the back of my mind, shoved away by the impending arrival of my son, the lure of my huge prairie garden, the rest of maternity leave, and the joy of my friends. In December it became a thought, January and February incubated it into a spoken idea and plan. In March, it shifted into an action and April began with growth and optimism. By May it had shifted into grey questions and today it feels as though the whole idea is a burden and a joke.

Is there a less loaded life out there? Is there a possibility of simple joy and happiness without being trapped in the 9-5, the race, the concrete and exhaust(ion)? The rich become richer, the poor become more poor. The corporations inhale the shops who will feed them and step upon the rest. The father dreams of a better life for his son, but is torn between 'better' and 'life' as he picks up a time card and boxes up his dreams. The mother leaves the home to make a home and the children wonder.And they all smile and trod along and say it's worth it cuz they're making a better life. A better life a better life a better life....

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The paper cancelled on us last week. They're supposed to show up this afternoon but...? Chamber of Commerce cancelled on me yesterday. What? Our coffee bags are caught up in a bizarre 20 post email thread. We just want the bags without the extended commentary please. The labels are in a similar pit. Our contact for a location is in San Diego (indefinitly) and not returning our calls. An amazing opportunity for a business start-up program (a year of EI funding while we begin) appears out of our reach since we can not show a record of all the employers who have rejected us,. (yes, apparently self-emplyment is only for the truly desperate).
This is the tough stuff. This adds to 'the loaded'.
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Can you tell my thoughts are scattered? Ha!

I'm sick as a wet cat today; some ridiculous cold. I eating Halls and trying to drink enough to make food for my baby. I'm not sure what I'm going to work on today. Perhaps I will take a minute to look at my garden, talk to my God, call up my friends. I can feel the next stage coming. This is the part where I shiver on the dock all pimply and mottled before taking a breath and jumping in, again.