Of Gypsies and Cowboys

Our day began with above 0 temperatures, a happy baby, and apple-laden oatmeal-- perfect! I chored at the barn while J prepared to head to the cabin. Jeremiah ran about clad in long Johns, slippers, and a plaid woolen vest; chalk in one hand, the family's tooth brushes in another. What a blissful start to the day :)

We enjoyed pasta swimming in garlic, fresh walnuts, pears, salmon, feta, and balsamic vinegar for supper (it was honestly SO good! Seriously. You have to try a sweet/savory walnut concoction with pasta. Awesome!). Now the dishes are done, the diapers are hanging, the baby is with his papa, and I am finding my minute.

Hm. The start and the end of the day, both so cozy and sweet. But between those two plates was a day of J' working on and on at the cabin (he sanded the floors 6 times today trying to work out the weather damage before they're sanded). It was a day where I scraped thawed horse manure and dumped the wheel barrow on the way. It was one of me expressing impatience as J clung and fussed and bathed in the dog bowl and unwrapped the (newly wrapped!) gifts. It was a morning where I craved a nap, an afternoon where I craved a 'sitter, and an evening where I cranked up the carols and declared, "We ARE having fun!".

Ha. But now, yes, we have enjoyed our supper plate and the lights are lowered and evening has come. It's an evening for Christmas baking and Baileys, a book by the fire, and hope for the morning.

Ah yes. Aren't Mondays beautiful? :)

Hi!
What a weekend! We've taken a couple of days away from the ranch while the owners are up and are taking some time to visit J's folks, have an evening out (sans baby), and try to snag some stocking stuffers. We just came in from a run through the mall and I again find myself with mixed feelings. I used to be all about the shopping and the hum and hub of it all, then I swung to "AH! No! Never!" and now, well, I hardly know. We took time to talk with some of the aritsans who had tables in the central areas and picked up some sweet wooden toys from Africa. I avoided certain sections (sale racks of new women's clothes which I don't need but sure would have snatched up if within arm's reach!), stopped in others for a 'fix' (starbucks!), and allowed a breath of frustration at the attraction of stopping at just one big box store and collecting every stocking stuffer I could want. With a baby in the rain and limited time, well, it's easy. With a conscience and a set of growing ideals rooted in our family, well, it's tricky. Hm.

Anyways. There's something about these trips that makes my head feel somewhat foggy. I'm tired (c'mon, I'm a mama!), but it's more than that. I think I get so excited at the thought of a weekend away but I always forget that they involve traffic and questions and the continuation of broken sleep and early mornings. A true 'get away' lives more in the mind-set then in the location. If J and I are at peace with one another and Jem is content and our minds aren't stressed or distracted by finances or tasks or issues, then we can experience a true weekend of rest.

I have a few minutes before the boys wake up (yup, they're both napping). I need coffee.... I apologize for the fragmented feel of this post, perhaps I'll try again once I've got some of those GreenValley beans dripping through my system ;)

Hello friends :)

Can you believe we're nearing the end of November? Wow! Our one-year anniversary of our 'new life' is nearing. It's startling to realize that it's almost being a year since that fateful (and wonderful) evening conversation that put feet to our ideas. Who would have thought that now, 11 months later, our little family would be living in this life? But, I'll save those reflections for next month :)

Our preparations for the Advent Season are almost complete. While pregnant, I learned that the only way for me to truly relax and enjoy the season was to have all my busy work taken care of wel ahead of time. With that in mind, I have baked and frozen more than 200 Christmas goodies, roasted and packaged over 20 pounds of amazing GreenValley coffee, ordered most of the extra gifts to be given, and am soon to pack and ship my little parcels to our loved ones around the country. But, even with all this, I still feel a bit behind. There are still some gifts to find, floor boards to scrub, days to organize. The day-to-day doesn't often pause and I am forever pursuing the balance of rest, creation, work, and solitude.

How are you preparing for the coming season? One month from today is Christmas Day! Are you employing any new traditions or events? How do you respond to the swirl of plastic toys, crowded malls, and extra trappings? What are you most looking forward to as a family?
For us, we're looking forward to our first days in our new home. We're hoping to find a beautiful tree from our own forest, string it with popcorn and dried chinese lanterns from the garden, and read by the fire. We're going to watch Narnia on one of our first evenings, sip white hot chocolate, and hang the pictures and personal treasures that have been boxed away for the past year. It is going to be the most perfect Christmas ever :)

Anyways. Sweet Jemah is napping. I'm going to check on the progress up at the cabin and then begin dinner preperations for the guests pulling in this evening. Tonight: spinach, artichoke, and ricotta calzones with caesar salad. Yum!

Note: As most of you have read, I have entered the Blog to Inspire contest. Many of you know of my love of writing and sharing life through this medium. Creating, sharing, processing, and pondering, for me, is best achieved through writing. While I feel that I've somehow misplaced my former awareness of grammar and structure (would you believe I was a writing instructor in my 'former life'??? My word.) since giving birth and leaving sleep behind, I cannot neglect this beautiful form. That said, winning this contest would be a phenomenal and indescribable gift and inspiration! This is the kind of opportunity I have been searching for and desiring. So, if you support this blogging mama, continue to interact with me on the previous post and share the link wherever you can. Honestly, if you are so inclined, I welcome you to post it on your Facebook status, 'Tweet' it on Twitter, email it to people who might find it of interest, paint it on a bus... just kidding! The finalists will be chosen, in part, according to their engagement within the online community. Thanks!!!

 “Baby wearing? Umm....Can you repeat the question?” 

This stuttering response was the sum-total of my knowledge surrounding baby wearing. Expecting our first child, my husband Jeremy and I thought we had covered everything: A plush stash of cloth diapers, classes on labour and breastfeeding, a safe and toxin-free nursery, and the loopy naive grins of a couple who had yet to hit the delivery room. Given that we had a fresh-out-of-the-box stroller and able arms, we were assured that transporting our baby would be both simple and efficient (as parenting is supposed to be...right?).

Now, eighteen months later, I am on my way to living as an accomplished baby wearer.

What stimulated this unexpected choice? Perhaps it was the deep and lasting life-shift we experienced soon after Jeremiah was born; conversations, choices, and events leading us into a new journey and life-style which shaped our family into something much more fluid and organic than we had ever expected. Changes from synthetic products to natural, consumer roles to producer, urban living to mountain ranch, and employed to...not, may have played a role in nudging us towards adopting baby-wearing so enthusiastically. Or perhaps it was simply embracing the fact that when you’re a parent on the move your babe needs to move with you. While I remain unsure as to the specific event or reason motivating us to step into this incredible mode of interaction, I am confident that it will remain within our family as long as there are babies to wear.

Throughout the past several months, the following notes have been left scribbled for my husband Jeremy.

“Down at the lake, 5:00am, baby with me...”                     
“Took Jeremiah for a hike, back for breakfast...”
“Checking fences, 6:30am”
“Trail ride. Jeremiah’s with me.”

Through forests and across lakes, on horseback and at the kitchen sink, while nursing, cleaning, and conversing, in the company of mop, dog, or guest, my baby boy has been tucked in closely with those who love him. Beginning with a beautiful sling (presented as a gift from Jeremy after delivery), and currently with the oh-so-hardy Ergo, Jeremiah has been bundled, strapped, snuggled, and packed. On my back or his Papa’s, he knows he is safely stowed. Sleeping, observing, feeding, or simply soaking up whatever activity at hand, he is able to participate within the community of his family and with his world first-hand.


For many families, baby-wearing may be a pre-birth decision or a personal preference. For us, it has become a beautiful constant within our way of life. As a woman, and as a mama desiring to pursue natural parenting, I know this: Wearing my baby has introduced a freedom, strength, and unity to my life and family that was entirely unexpected and completely unplanned. There is a beautiful centeredness in the snuffling snore of my son dozing against my chest as I wander down our lane. There is a gentle respect and partnership as his Papa shares in carrying him through our journeys. There is secret warmth in the knowledge of Jeremiah nursing on the move; hidden and tucked away. There is an exhilarating strength in carrying my son’s growing frame upon my own; aware that my body continues to contribute to his.


“Baby wearing? Yes!”


As we journey onward, as our families grow and change, we will carry our babies close. As they outgrow their slings and wraps and carriers, we will continue to hold them; wrapping their dreams and cries and steps next to our own, wearing their lives next to our hearts. 

Why did/didn't you choose to adopt baby-wearing in your own family? What is the greatest benefit that you have experienced? What has been the most significant challenge? I'd love to hear your experiences surrounding this topic, as well as other areas surrounding natural parenting and our shared life!
(This post is presented as my entry to Parenting By Nature's 'Blog to Inspire' contest! I'm so excited to be a part of this unique contest and look forward to interacting with more like-minded readers as we share our experiences. If this is inspiring to you, please pass this post along to your friends and help me share my entry and story!)

This is a favorite in our house; it tastes like a Twix bar! The secret to getting both the taste and appearance perfect is in keeping the layers thin (especially the chocolate). This year I doubled it and used a JUMBO (like, full oven sized) cookie sheet with parchment paper. I think a single (non-doubled) recipe would fit a regular cookie sheet (with side edges of course), or rectangle cake pan. The crust will be crumbly so sprinkle it in evenly, then press in with hands, then smooth with the back of a fork (and beat it very well first, it's shortbread). Finely, keep your chocolate super thin, like candy bar coating thin, otherwise the bars will crack when cut.

Oh, one other thing. I usually do one batch with milk or semi-sweet chocolate and one with dark chocolate sprinkled with cracked sea salt. Yummers!!!! (freezes well, but don't do a bunch of freeze/thaws. Packs well. Very rich so cut into tiny squares.)

Ingredients
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup ground almonds
• 3/4 cup butter
• 3/8 cup white sugar (wierd measure I know. Basically, 1/2 of 3/4, if that helps? 1/4 and an 1/8? wierd.
• 3 tablespoons golden syrup
• 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 8 (1 ounce) squares high quality milk chocolate
Directions
1. Beat 1/2 cup butter and 1/4 cup sugar until pale. Add flour and ground almonds to form a soft dough.
2. Press dough into a pan that has been greased and lined with parchment paper. Bake shortbread at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 20 to 25 minutes, or until pale golden brown. Leave in pan until cool.
3. To Make Topping: Cook 3/4 cup butter, 3/8 cup sugar, syrup, and sweetened condensed milk in a saucepan on low heat. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Boil for 5 to 7 minutes until it has thickened and has a pale caramel color.
4. Spread caramel on cooled shortbread, and let set about 40 minutes. Melt chocolate over low heat. Spread melted chocolate on top of caramel (be sure the caramel has cooled first!)

I feel as though I am living in a winter-dream. Hollywood-sized snowflakes, shaggy horses, eggnog and baking and glowing hearths are lending a surreal quality to our days here. It is beautiful! My life is beautiful! Even the struggles of marital communication, health, and sleepiness seem somehow hushed under this embracing blanket of Season.


I have been so impatient to move into Augusta, but now, in our longest stretch of living on the ranch without guests, I am finally finding a sense of home in this big open lodge we’ve been waiting within. Maybe it’s the baking or the carols, maybe it’s just having consecutive weeks of just being a family. Whatever the reason, it feels nice.

I am in the middle of a massive pan of Scottish shortbread (J’s FAVORITE), with plans of a variety of chocolate ‘barks’ in the next couple of hours. My goal is to finish all of my Christmas baking by the weekend. One third will go to The Ranch (owners, guests, etc) for their use and pleasure, one-third to us in Augusta, and one-third for packages and moments. The whole thing is much scaled down from previous years. Partially, because I’m aware of how crazy it got last year (long story involving over-baking leading to over-indulgence...), how pricey it is, and how in fact my identity isn’t based on what I bake ;)

So, this year’s Christmas goodies are:

- Scottish caramel shortbread
- Lemon squares
- ginger molasses cookies (soft and spicey, with most of the batch frozen in little dough balls to bake fresh whenever guests desire)
- apricot sage cookies (a very classy and ‘grown up’ looking new cookie. Totally different, uses fresh sage in the dough.
(the above 4 are all done!)
- teriyaki nuts (made a huge bunch last night and...burnt them to a crisp! We’ll see....)
- white chocolate almond/cranberry bark
- milk/dark espresso bark
- butter-tarts/tartlets/squares (we’ll see what form they take this time....)
- maybe...my favourite chocolate dipped orange pecan shortbread.... (But they will have to be locked up!)
- something minty....
- maybe this new lemony cookie i saw....
- and lots of fresh roasted coffee!

Okay. Much too much time online—yikes! Gotta go! OH! And yes, I will be posting one of these recipes every few days so you can try them too! 

Despite the cold and snow and frosty cheeks, this was one happy boy :)

This morning over pancakes J suggested "getting away". So, we packed up and drove to the city. I wasn't sure if I was into making the effort; baby, winter gear, energy, etc., but it turned out really well. We got our Christmas shopping (almost!) done, had a solid dose of crowds and traffic, and enjoyed a killer meal at Milestones (I had the beef dip with yam fries-- yummers! And Jem stayed happy the whole time with a stick of garlic bread and yams!). We're home in time to get the hosue warmed up again and put a pizza in the oven.

I
Hey!
Thanks for the interaction on the purse post-- awesome! Some thoughts, in response to some of the comments--
Yes, I heartily agree!!! The whole point was that :) Whether it's a purse or an organic-handmade toy, the issue is that all-consuming desire, that wrongly directed lingering grasp. It had little to do with whether thigs are synthetic or natural or whatever, the point was the desire and the fact that we allow ourselves to get so enamoured with material goods. Seeing it aside from my own heart was helpful as I rarely have the opportunity to see how bizarre these attachments really are. We can say it's an issue in our lives, we can say we feel it, but to actually witness something so acutely outside of our own clouded internal vision can really bring it home and renew the desire to learn how to live open-handed and with little. The fact is, it was a bizarre and wrongly directed kind of fascination with material objects. It hit my square in the face and made me realize (for myself, in my own life, regarding my own issues and desires), "Crap! Danger! Watch out! Run away! Learn what is good and truly valuable!"
And, I am in no way saying I have achieved anything here. As confessed before, my own heart is fickle and longs after much. I'm finding that going back to basics (ie. cutting myself off in a sense, and re-starting, kind of) has being a helpful approach. If I were to live in the heart of New York or with unlimited funds, etc., I would still find it very difficult to life the kind of life I am hoping to find. I am responsible for my own actions, my own choices and responses. If I can learn from those around me, judge my own life without excuse, and set my heart towards what is Good, I can hold to hope for a life that is more than myself.
Does this make sense?

This weekend, the women of the ranch bundled up and loaded wood. We seriously worked SO hard! My legs were shaking, my arms were numb, and today I'm starting to see some new little muscles-- yay! There was something really neat in the fact that it was just the women (well, until J came and rescued us and helped us finish...!). We trudged out into the snowy afternoon (babe on my back), we planned and laughed and figured out a system that worked for us, and we returned with the job done. God bless the women!

Do you ever have evenings where you just are brimming with contentment? Tonight is like that. Truth be told, life isn't always peachy up here. J and I are often in conflict as we work through discussion of philosophy, theology, and general 'life'. My body continues to push against me; somedays with maddening force and insight. There is always another task or project which could be done, if we were willing to give all of our time to the work of our hands. All that is to say: Today we worked incredibly hard, navigated through the points of conflict, triumphed through physical aches and limites, partnered with the kiddo, and emerged into the evening with a sense of productivity and hope of rest. The next couple of hours are ours alone. There are nachoes in the oven, wine ready to be poured, and a bedroom cozy with firelight.
This evening is am brimming over with a full cup, and it is good.

J is putting Jem to bed now as the wind howls. The wind up here is phenomenal. Seriously! It shakes this whole timber home as though it were a child's toy! The power just cut out so we've gathered the kerosene lamps to have on hand, just in case. We live 'off the grid', using a generator. I'm not sure if it's the wind or a generator issue, but we could have a funny night ahead (hmm...that might cut out the movie aspect of our date night....)

Anyways.

My skin smells like citronella and sweet orange and  lavender from my days work. My hands are rough and my back aches. I live in a millionaire's home and scrub the mantle on hands and knees; ah the sweet life! I love this beautiful beautiful life and the fact that I can sit this evening and drink of it.

My son is laughing uncontrollably as his dad reads a picture book of animals. Whenever Jem points at the turkey J goes, "gobble gobble gobble!!!" and it is SO funny! We're all laughing now :)

Today was well spent. As some may have read earlier, I have fallen in love with teeny little tartlets. I just use a mini-muffin pan and one of two favorite pastry recipes to create incredible morsels of yumminess. They're such adorable little bites that I just can't resist making more of them and experimenting with more flavours! So far I've made pumpkin-toffee, brandied-nut, and maple-apple. Next up are butter ones, and maybe soemting like cranberry whitechocolate...hmmm.... But yeah, I highly recommend playing with these. They freeze well, present nicely, and can provide a lot of variety to a dessert plate. And they soothe a baking-addict's desire when needed ;)

Do any of you live in a log home? I concocted an amazing cleaner today. Basically, hot water and baking soade with citronella essential oil (not fragrance oil). I think any citrus-based oil would work well. But yeah, it really cut into the grime on the wood railings, ledges, cupboards, and table. I didn't even know they were the light yellow color that I uncovered--yikes!!!
Random: I also made a seriously potent mouth wash! I used organic cranberry juice (with NO sweetener! Very expensive, only available in health food stores), witch hazel, and pure mint oil. WOW! It's refreshing, antibacterial, and whitening!

It's soon bedtime for baby--yay! I am SO tired these days. My body is feeling wonky and I"m not sure why :( We had a nice evening together and I think we're all ready for a cozy evening of reading and an early bedtime.