Of Gypsies and Cowboys

The day was filled with work outside in the gorgeous air....

And the evening with apples in the fire-warmed kitchen. Beautiful autumn....

There's a couldron of chickpea curry simmering on the woodstove as pastry for the newest crop of apples chills in the fridge. Jem is chasing a pair of chipmunks by the bird feeder out front while J continues work up at the barn. My apron is floured and I'm wearing awkwardly thick socks stuffed into garishly turqoise crocks. The air has warmed to a 'normal' fall temperature and two doors are open to accomodate baby and dog as they move in and out between adventures.

I'm tired and well.

I think there must be several stages to finding home and digging in roots, and I think it may be a deeper and more involved process than we may first expect. While we can have points of relief or happiness, I think there are more intricate layers of trust and ownership and participation which have to be experienced before one moves towards an honest and lasting rootedness which brings a mixture of joy and solidarity, even in the face of change or question.
Anyways. I don't know, I'm just starting to feel or see something on the horizon that is good. We've had so many changes, so many places of dwelling, so many valuable experiences and pit stops. I'm hoping this is all of those, but so much more.

I feel so inspired today!
I'm not sure what has brought about the change, but I could feel it stirring and I can finally see it in points of attitude and action. I am filling with a growing desire to contribute more and dig in and let go and...welll, go all in. I think that anyone who has experienced or witnessed ups and downs and changes quite near each other will develop a hesitancy to fully invest or fully let go of all plan B's. It's just what happens, no matter how much we say we don't or won't or, whatever. But today I found myself in this small-town outdoor apparell store charging up all kinds of tough ranch-specific outdoor clothes (courtesy of my ridiculously generous employer), skipping through manure sporting my new canvas Carhartt vest, learning to use J's drill so I could help with the winterizing of the barn, and planning out an evening of apple pie creation. It's different. For today, it doesn't feel like work so much as contribution to community. And that my friends is why we are here on this mountain in this very foreign life.

I love the teeny glimpses of light through fog and hope upon plateaus.

I smell like barn.... I should go!

Four fires burning. Baby finally sleeping. Eggs and hashbrowns for a late supper. Frost descending. Sleepy eyes and cozy thoughts. Night time comes to the ranch.

(Note: Jeremiah broke in and posted this with his own additions when I had to leave the computer this afternoon-- wow! Sometimes I write and process on here and then go back and edit it and rethink things before I post. Thanks for joining the conversation friends!)

Hello.
J and I just came in from a beautiful trail ride through a new section of forest on the ranch. The colors and brisk air and break from the pace of the weekend were appreciated. It's funny, while I can post pictures or explain bits of days or experiences, it's actually quite difficult to truly explain the kind of life we have out here. It's beautiful and wierd and so full of blessing and wonder, but you all know that already. What you don't know is that the rhytm of balance and growth continues to be difficult to attain. The 'fear of man' continues to be present through new experiences and expressions. The pressure to gain affirmation through overwork is a constant presence.
There have been a precious few days of quiet family time and working in our own rythm and creative energy. There are many days of people and eyes and opinions as we try to be everything our employers expect us to be. There are days when we fail and talk and apply new lessons and continue to attemp service and work and learn from our mistakes. There are days when we get caught in that dangerous swirl of trying to please every present eye and voice and criticism and then find ourselves slipping away on a trail ride to breathe and let it all go.
As I've written before; wherever we are present, it is possible to walk in turmoil, stress, joy, rest, growth, frustration, and change. My hope is that we will learn how to serve these lords and ladies with gladness while cultivating rest and guarding our hearts against all those draining forces that pushed us onto our gypsy path in the beginning. But friends, it is much more difficult to really live this each day than it is to think of it as an ideal and concept.

So then, how do you do it? Or do you?

Our response so far has been to work beyond our positions, adding on hours within each of our days. We do what is required and more, and we keep senses open as to be aware of unspoken requests and preferences. So far, the appearance and productivity of overwork is well received, but it leads to points of strain as well as confusion when we actually do stop. Hmm.

Anyways. I recognize this is a tricky conversation, especially on open domain. The fact is though; I hope to be as open and inquisitive as I can on this quest. This blog is for the questions and discoveries and ins and outs of 'less loaded', and the questions of the day are loaded indeed.

Happy Monday to you. May you find rest.

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!!!
This weekend finds us in deepening thoghts of thankfulness as we continue on our journey in action and 'the seen', as well as in processing and connecting all these points of life. This time last year we were celebrating with family in Alberta, convinced that we'd finally settled in for the long haul in our little town. Now, after a year of motion and change and, we are again in that mindset of, "here we are, this is it, we're not moving for at least a decade!". I pray that this time next year we will be reflecting with thankfulness on a year of roots and home and growth. Here.

So now. Sitting by the woodstove in our room. It is COLD up here! (about -10 celcius). The water trough is frozen and the dilema of the weekend is how to get water to our 5 horses. The lake is foggy and grey. My toes are numb, my nose is wet, and Jem's cheeks are rosy rosy red. It feels like Christmas :) It's funny, one of the (many) factors in moving West instead of other locations was the lure of mild and moist winters in the Valley. Hahaha. Now we're 4000 feet higher in a dry and soon to be bone-chilling cold. Interesting how things work.....

In other news....
Our little cabin continues to be developed. The tin was started this week and now the roof is halfway completed. There is still much to be done, but we keep walking up there and looking ahead with growing excitement. This might really happen! Well actually, this IS really happening! We're going to have a sweet little home to cozy up in by Christmas and I can hardly wait. Logs hewn from this land and fires burning as we cozy up with babies and dreams.

Well, time to go. This was a little scattered but I'm determined to update more, here and there. Again, happy weekend, give thanks!