Of Gypsies and Cowboys

Update:

Only minutes after my last post, the area health inspector called to inform us that we are required to undergo an inspection of our operation since we are working with food. Food? Hm. From the information we have so far, it sounds like we are required to have a seperate commercial level kitchen. We also need to prepare a sanitation plan, food safety plan, and full floor layout of our facility. Hm.
This was a fairly significant piece of informtion. Especially since we do not currently have a separate kitchen area. Hm.

You know, there's a lot going on in my heart and head these days. There was a mass of conflicting emotions and responses throughout the afternoon and evening as I tried to evaluate and make sense of where we are and where we have come from. We've come a long way. There are many new and blessed points of growth and change in our lives, but at the same time there is so little to really 'show' for what we've done and what we've accomplished. We've invested a significant amount of time, money, energy, and overall life into the past several months. I believe we have gained more than we have spent, but there has been a definite cost to it all.

We're not sure what's going to happen with the business part of this whole life venture. Something we are learning to embrace is that we can still make choices and steps to cultivate a simple life of that is truly good. We can raise our son together and teach him an appreciation of the earth and moral values and simple happiness. We can take time with our marriage and continue to grow towards each other. We can continue educating ourselves about Fair Trade practices and the ethical treatment of our global community. And, of course, we can keep roasting and drinking and trading really good coffee ;)

We're not sure what our next step is, but it's likely going to lean more towards 'slow and simple' instead of 'rash and risky'. I was about ready to plunge in, sign everything onto someone's dotted line, and put it all into lease and equipment and the whole deal. In response, J reminded me that he isn't willing to bring our family into danger. It's one thing to take a crazy risk but another to burn all the bridges and act without wisdom.
So, we're going to keep roasting and selling, at least privately (through our site, farmers markets, etc). Bit by bit, through drawing people into the conversation and educating ourselves and sharing our story and beans, we hope to get to a point where we can confidently open our own shop and share this good thing. J will likely begin some work to keep our cupboards healthy and such, and I might take a day or two with that other creative woman inside myself who has been silenced of late.

Hm. Nothing in the past year or 4 months or week or day has been what we expected or planned. I guess that's part of the beauty of the journey. Here's hoping to a sunny open road...around the bend.

The sky is clear, the sun is warm, the mountains are in view, and I'm caught in the space between thick-throated tears and a thousand questions.

May 1st marks our last month of open possibilities.

J and I spent the past hour with Jem in the garden, facing the fact that one month from now we'll need to start considering some other venues for income. Maternity and EI both end at that point and we'll be in a rather interesting position.
I'm struggling with frustration and exhaustion while still believing in what we're doing. It's a really wierd feeling.... I believe this can work, I believe we can actually make it. But how? How does a family get from here to there? I know the obvious answers of loans and investors and that jazz, but that seems to fly in the face of some of the main ideas and factors which have led us to where we are.
J stated that we need to start looking for work for him, that maybe if we get stuff set up enough we can get there on the side. But how? If we're going to do this then we have to just do this, right?

A significant part of me just wants our own location. That's crazy. And selfish? I mean, why should we get a shop for our sweet business when so many families (wait, including us!) don't even have a home. I just keep feeling that if we had a main location, a place to roast and brew and sell, then people would see us and enter into the whole conversation as well.
Yesterday we met with a great little market wanting to run our beans. They also want 40% of the profit. So...? If we had our own place then it's on our terms, right? Then again, that's a HUGE comittment.

Five minutes ago I wasn't discouraged. Now I'm feeling the weight of it again. It would be so helpful if we had sleep in our bodies as well.

Anyways. Too much time here and not enough 'working'.
I will not be discouraged.
I will not give up hope.
We have something good to offer our world.
Time...work...belief...time....

I'm considering wearing a placard that states,
"I am not trying to rip you off. I am not a franchise or corporation. My intentions are not as evil as you believe them to be."

It's a tough world out there for teeny family-based businesses. Wow.
I just completed another call to another church. (Note: Churches brew a ton of coffee, it's apparently a great way to keep people alert during the service and coming back for more. Ergo, sell coffee to churches and let them support something good with what they brew) Unfortunately, all the groups we have contacted seem either offended or terrified once they realize we're not looking for salvation or membership. (sigh). There are currently some fairly large groups paying Starbucks some fairly large coin, so why is it so crazy to think that they could purchase their beans from a local company instead? We're even offering the same services for a lesser price, just for these groups.
It just leaves a funny taste in my mouth when their tone changes and they shut us out as fast as they can. Should I change my placard to, "Your pew, my brew?" Hm.

We've been up since 5:00am today with Jem being one busy busy boy. We're getting some good work done though, and even had some nice family time in the garden. Jem appears to love the outdoors and her creatures, which is such a delight to me :) I'm hoping to host his first birthday in the yard so we can enjoy the air and sun and his first (homemade organic) cake.

The apple, pear, and cherry trees are in full bloom. I love it! We visited each tree this morning and enjoyed their silky petals. Jemah gave the sweetest little laughs when his cheeks were touched by them. How I love my son! It's hard to believe that this time last year he was still nestled deep in my body and I had not yet met him face to face. Hm, who would have thought that we'd be where we're at a year later?

Well, happy Tuesday friends. The next hours hold more phone calls and lots of searching for packaging options online. We want to find (affordable!) little boxes for the chocolate covered beans, as well as boxes for our May addition; GreenValley giftboxes.

Oh the coffee I would trade to sleep as long as I wanted in a huge soft bed!

Today was exhausting, encouraging, and challenging. I spent most of the day in the next city selling GreenValley and GreenHomes products at a little tradeshow thing. I didn't move a lot of beans, but I sold half of the GreenHomes things I brought! People were so incredibly receptive to affordable, quality, natural home products! They love my little body balm bars and bought all the peppermint sani-mists-- yay! But, I think I need to review my prices. One woman thought they were listed at 3x the price and was about to buy a bottle-- wow!
I've decided what the GreenHomes story is going to be (for now):
I'm going to approach 3 retails venues (a local natural baby store, a greenhouse, and an eco womens store) with the products. I'm also going to have them available for our farmers market runs and whoever calls/emails in the our city. I'll create the 4 cleaners as well as the 'balms', and that's that for this year. I could do more and go crazy with it, but this is manageable and allows it to be something that could grow someday but still maintains my focus within my family and with the coffee. So...yay?

Did I mention I make fantastic body bars? Yummers!

Wow....I am tired! I need to sleep but I'm dreading the air mattress; it just doesn't do a body good. But, Jem will be up before 6:00am so I need to get some crash time in. Man I love my son. He is the most beautiful gift God ever created for me.

Hello Monday!
Um, scratch that, ha, Hello TUESDAY! Wow, time is flying! The past few days have been filled with all kinds of experiences and conversations. As a family, we're finding a rhythm and contentment that is comforting and maintainable. As a business team, we're gaining momentum and wonder. As a mama, I'm lacking in sleep but remembering to take pause and celebrate this beautiful life I nurse and hold. As a woman, ha, I need a haircut!

GreenValley Update:
Two very significant things have taken place.
1. As of yesterday we officially 'exist'. Yup, the city approved our appeal and granted our license (with limits). So we can really move ahead!!! Hurray!!!
2. I just came home from a significant meeting with the city's economic planning committee.
In the course of the meeting I:
- Realized just what a country bumpkin I am.
- Thanked the Lord for the one sharp business-like dress he provided.
- Decided I need to deal with the hair on my head if I'm to interact professionally.
- Performed quite well given my entire lack of experience in actual 'business' relations.
- Was given an offer for a few months FREE LEASE on a building for our shop, once we're prepared to take that step.
(did you catch that one??? WOW)

In response I:
- Shoke hands, nodded my head, exchanged business cards.
- Pretended I wasn't wearing 10 year old pants under my adorable dress.
- Walked out nonchalantly.
- Sat outside the building in the sun and let it all just swirl and move around me for about 20 minutes.

So now I'm home, sitting in my dress and decade-pants, looking at cherry blossoms and wanting to brew some beans. This evening I'm stepping out to mingle with the Chamber of Commerce; network, connect, etc. (Like I know what that means). Maybe I'll wash my hair. Hm.

The blogger-mama from My Little Warriors!!! :)
(Please send your mailing address to greenvalleyroaster@gmail.com and we'll get those beans to you right away! Enjoy your fresh cup of GreenValley Ethiopian :) )

Thanks for interacting with this; how fun :) Watch for more bean draws in the future!
As mentioned previously, credit for the whole 'blog draw' type of thing goes to the incredible SouleMama @ http://soulemama.typepad.com/

EDIT:
Yikes, sorry, I meant to say MONDAY (today) by midnight (and I'll post the winner on Tuesday),-- sorry!!! We just roasted the beans so we want to send them to whoever right away. Sorry! But yay beans!

Several online friends have expressed interest in purchasing GreenValley coffee-- YAY!!! We're working on finsihing up our website as well as finalizing a solid method for online orders and shipping. Currently, having PayPal or Visa right on our site is crazy pricey so we're looking at sending out invoices with customers paying into our account, or cash and cheques, or...? Hm, lots to think about. Thoughts?

But in the midst of that we want to get some more beans out there! Our crazy Ethiopian beans arrived last week and are great fun! They're a wonky bunch of beans; a mix of shapes and sizes with a unique roasting tempermant but really neat taste. Some people describe the taste as wild or gamey, I just call it good ;) It's my new second-favorite (second to our Guatemalans).

Sooo....
Leave a comment (on this post or the one earlier today) by Tuesday at midnight and we'll do a random draw for 1/2 pound of these beans. I'll announce Wednesday by noon :)

Another intense day of ups and downs and in-betweens. We are learning so much! This whole experience is simply overflowing with points of challenge and growth and praise and frustration. It's good.

SO.
- The inspector came and went and seemed surprised at just how small we were. Ha! He'll be reporting back to his council and then emailing us in the next day or so, but it sounds as though we should be 'in' (with limits). That's awesome! We made him some coffee and were all ready for a nice little chat time with Mr. City but he seemed quite anxous and was in and out as fast as could be. We were pleased, and now we wait.
- Minutes after he left, the roaster broke!
- J fixed it on his own! WOW!
- Our meeting with our favorite 'target' coffee shop was entirely anti-climatic. And no, they won't be running our beans but the owner was a really nice guy and honestly would love to partner with us in some way. We're considering a 'short run' for Fair Trade Week. We'll see.
(note: we were so dorky going in there; all three of us went! Met the mayor walking in, exchanged hugs, that was cool)
- Incredible conversation and connection with a local shop owner, with a confirmed invite into a city council social-- yay! Tuesday night, out on the town with the Business of the city.
- Had a fight with J about one of our roasts. (sigh) Worked it out and made red curry.
- Showed Jem the garden. Jem ate the garden. Well, the dirt part of it. Hm.
- Tired!
- The GreenHomes bottles arrived. They're awesome!
- Tomorrow is my first night out showcasing GreenValley. Eeks!
- Exchanged a dress. Made a friend. Friend knocked a ridiculous amount of $$$ of the dress.
- Ate wasabi peas.

Full day huh?

This just in:
The paper just called and they really ARE going to do a story on us! How fun is that?! May5th is the date, at 3:00pm. The only crazy thing is that they want to get a picture of us next to our 'roasting operation'. Umm...anyone else know how awkward it is to say, "Here's the camper we live in and the patio we roast on?" Oh boy.....

"And it goes on and on..."

Life is good.
This evening I was making hot chocolate for the boys. We were out in the trailer, Jack Johnson in the air (as usual), Jem dancing, J' reviewing baseball, milk about to boil over. Standing there, looking at my little family in our tiny house I found myself smiling. I thought, "This is one of those moments will look back on. Ten years from now we'll smile and say, 'Remember those evenings in that stinky old trailer? Remember how small Jem was and how crazy everything seemed? Remember when...?" And then it'll keep rolling on.

To be honest, I wasn't feeling quite so fond of our home this morning. We had a beautiful long weekend and spent a lot of time in the house as well as out with a dear visiting friend. It was SO refreshing to spend time with valued people, to sprawl out, to see new places, to eat unlimited good food. However, it did serve to remind me as to how deeply I still hope for a bit more of a house someday. I'm a kitchen kind of person. I'm a pictures-on-the-wall kind of gal. I am blessed with what we have and recognize that I have more than I need, but I still do look towards a home that doesn't shake in the wind quite so easily.

Anyways.

Today was good and is good. Update!
- GreenValley beans have hit the public market!!! Our first try at selling in a local market began today. I'm not sure if the owner is a huge fan of us, and we're not sure if we're getting a decent price (kinda oblivious as to percentages of mark-up and such) but they're in the store and that's cool. Massive step #52: You can now purchase our beans at SKT Market at Airport/Yale Rd. Um...please do!
- Contacted Chamber of Commerce.
- Contacted a great Council connection through the Mayor
- On the brink of a really really cool church connection...maybe. I won't go into it until we see where it goes.
- The contact at the paper might be leading to a sweet late entry to a 'ladies night' tradeshow on Friday. Eeeks! It'd be me and the coffee with a bunch of local gals ready to shop all night. COuld be awesome! (Especially if the GreenHomes bottles arrive so I can sell some product as well!)
- A local cafe (that random cult-like connection I mentioned awhile back?) might run our beans! I think they see it as a means to evangelism.... I've remained honest with my beliefs and intentions ("I want you to buy my coffee") so we'll see. they gave me a free Yerba Mate Latte and cinnamon bun, then bought a pound of Domincan. Hm.

And general life...
- My garden sprouted today! Ha! Yay!
- Tomorrow is my last afternoon with my Albertan friend. Then it's back to aloneness.
- I drink a lot of coffee. It's good.

Our furnace ran out of propane last night."
Jem confirmed that he was as cold as me when he started bellowing before 6:00am.

Up. Shivering. Pull kiddo out of the tub. Stumble into the 'kitchen' to hear the furnace running hard...blowing cold air! Hahaha...hello monday morning! :)
And life rolls on....

Months ago we decided to act on some of our convictions and reflections regarding 'a simpler life'. Hm. Months ago already. Wow. Within these months we have sold our possessions, created a company (kinda/almost...well, all the logistics of a company), left the only home we've known as a family, moved into a new home and area, become people we hardly recognize.

Somewhere along the way, our one path became two, than more, than too many. Our whole goal in this challenging journey is to embrace "a life less loaded". As a family, we desire days of purpose, materials of true value, clear minds, right hearts, working hands, happy children, healthy bodies, peace.
Unfortunately, I have found the past several weeks to be leaning more towards the "loaded" and not so much the "less". I am so tired. My mind is divided. My ideals and optimism are perilously close to falling into a cynical sneer. Somewhere, somehow, we have veered from the joy of a simple life and freedom into a pursuit of 'bigger' ideas, more accomplishments, and 'greater' goals.
I am daily impatient with my husband. My appearance is unkept at best (and sometimes bordering on slovenly!). I have ceased to write, exercise, meditate, or rest. I am consumed, even in my sleeping hours, with business products, marketing slogans, interactions, and plans. I have lost touch with valued friends.
From month one to month three, much has happened.

And so....
(insert total shift in attitude and tone! ;) )
This is where we take stock, cut our losses (well, some of 'em), take a breath and a prayer, and move on. I think. We're doing all of this stuff for a reason. We didn't give away our old life so that we could be exhausted and cranky and dirty. We stepped away from something that did not hold true value so that we could embrace a richer and deeper life. If we are to remain true to our goal then we (or better stated, 'I') need to be willing to get over the humiliation of a step (or 10) back and say that we're shifting our focus.
What does this all mean? It means we need to relax. It means we're reminding ourselves that it's better to stay small but happy instead of striving for 'big=successful' and losing family and peace in the midst of it. And, it likely means we're stepping more into GreenValley (the coffee roasting) and stepping away from the services of GreenHomes (eco-cleaning houses). Practically speaking, it may mean a longer stint in the RV, more waiting until we receive a true income, and more of less for a longer period (if that makes sense...).
On the flip side though, actually moving to this decision and deciding to make a go of something we actually enjoy stirs some serious excitement. I'll be honest with you; I'm no house cleaner! I still love my products and I'll still be pitching them at farmers markets and such and see where that goes, but the the thought of spending my days scrubbing other houses has been draining me. Coffee on the other hand, well, that's kind of who we are. We KNOW coffee. We can do good coffee. For us, roasting has become part of life. For those who have seen my home, well, cleaning hasn't really been a part of life, I'm no natural there ;) To survive as entrepreneurs you need to work to your strengths, right? I guess I'm learning this the hard way.
The funny thing is that I think it would actually be a successful company. I mean, we've got everything; the webdomain, materials, marketing, etc. All we need are employees and clients and away you go. Hm, anyone wanna buy a great cleaning company? ;)

Oh man, Jem is flipping out. Good bye. and good luck to me!

What is new in this life?
1. Waiting to hear about the GreenHomes business license (just need to finalize 2 things)
2. Ordered GreenHomes product bottles.
3. Meeting with the Mayor of this city on Tuesday morning (um...yikes?!)
4. Have a sweet local coffee shop interested in running our beans. Meeting next week.
5. Have a fun local produce market wanting to run our beans. Working out the details next week.

Hmm...what else?

- Jem fell off the couch onto the hard floor in the trailer, again. Poor kid. He's tough though. His new favorite thing? Apples! Loves 'em.
- Starting to go for walks in the morning to a local park/pong (I am seriously underexercised!). Cana (dog) goes swimming, I get a minute to myself, the mountains get to enter my mind.
- Going for a date without the kiddo tonight. Have a sushie gift cert. Might brush my hair and put on clothes. This is a big deal ;)

Want to know what it's like to start over?
1. Really tough.
2. Tougher than that.
3. Difficult to explain.
4. Confusing to defend.
5. Still worth it.

I read a quote the other day (and I'm sorry, the source eludes me now) but it stated (pretty much), "Is it hard? Of course it's hard! If it wasn't really tough than anyone could do it and it wouldn't be special!" I've reminded myself of these words time and again this week because yes, it's hard. Need I remind you of what we're attempting? We're a young family. J' was laid off, we have a 9 month old son, we packed up and moved west, we're camping in my in-laws driveway, we're attempting to start our own home-based business. No one made us do this, no one is keeping us here, few really understand why we would try something so...foolish.
Last night, while cozied up in the trailer and munching on toast while sipping home-vinted wine, we really questioned ourselves. We really let it enter our heads that this might not work. We considered some options. But, toast eaten and wine mug emptied we embraced, refocused, and moved ahead with the belief that we had better see this thing through before we seriously consider packing it in. Neither one of us wants to look back one yaer, one decade, one life from now and think, "If only we had pushed a little bit harder, if only we had tried a little bit more."

So we're working and living and plowing. Ha, you've gotta plow before you plant right? It's funny, religious reflections often focus on planting as the first step, but if you're going to get the greatest harvest you need to prep' the soil, right? Our plowing these days entails creating brochures, making phone calls, creating business cards, researching, having awkward converations with strangers, having exciting conversations with new friends, walking in the rain, getting lost on the freeway, crying, laughing, fighting it out, sleeping one tin sheet from the rain, reminding ourselves that it's worth it.
We're plowing and it's slow going, but we keep looking to the harvest horizon, a time of plenty, a season of thanksgiving, a life of truth, simplicity, safety, and joy.